In an earth shattering development of enormous magnitude, I have been elected as member of Progress’s new Strategy Board.
It was a funny election to run in, as having decided to run, I then found the other candidates were people I liked, agreed with and wanted to see win, which led to a certain excessive modesty in campaigning style. Thanks to everyone who saw through this and gratified my pathetic desire for public approval.
Now my ego can be set aside, the next year is going to be a very important one for Progress and the party, and I’ll do my best to demonstrate why Progress is such an essential part of the Labour movement and be a good representative of Progress’s membership. I’m also really looking forward to working with Mandy Telford, Joan Ryan, Joe Mann, the other members of the Strategy Board, Progress’s staff and everyone who stood in the election.
Apart from that, all I can say to the electorate is thank you, and channeling Sally Field add “you like me, you really, really like me. Though obviously not quite as much as you like Mandy Telford, You swines.”