After reading Tim Montgomerie’s article admitting to errors of judgement in the past (“how can that be interesting”, quoth the audience in my head – “the fellow is a Tory commentator, judgements which are subsequently proven wrong and recanted are therefore his metier”), I thought I should attempt the same.
So here is the exhaustive list of my past errors:
There you have it, a full and exhaustive list of all my old stupidities.
Oh, some of you might say, Sen, where’s that coming collapse of civilisation you warned of? You said in the future we’d all be living off grilled old rags and dish cloths, and it hasn’t happened. Why is that not on the list?
To which I reply: It hasn’t happened yet. As with everything else, I am right, or about to be proved right.
Further, given this perfect track record of actual or soon-to-be-fulfilled prediction, I am surely not alone in thinking that it is little short of an outrage that a self-confessed error-sowing hack like Montgomerie gains public praise for admitting that he is simply not very good at his job, while those wiser than he (I will demurely and modestly not name names ) knew this all along and tried to advise the world of the truth?
In what other field would such lunacy be tolerated? Would a plumber, on confessing that he had, through incompetence, flooded a flat or two, then be accorded the praise of peers and the plumber of the year award? Would we retrospectively hail the producers of the Austin Allegro for their brilliance in producing a rusty, clapped out head of metallic shoddery? We would not.
Yet this Montgomerie, this blithering fool, this man whose columns, we now know, are littered with the detritus of past idiocy, whose past foolishness hangs like a multitude of stinking maggot-infested corpses from an endless series of gibbets stationed on the winding mental pathway he attempts to kidnap his protesting readers by in each so-called ‘column’, this Tim whose every idiotic, brain-dead, half-witted, badly prognosticated burbling is mocked and pitied by the truly insightful, (again, I modestly make no mention of names) is paid handsomely for his work, and wins awards and prizes and celebrity.
Indeed, this just goes to show the injustice of the world. While the truly visionary (note again, the modesty herein displayed) are ignored, certain babblers-for-hire are paid honour.
Naturally, I would not want the prizes, the attention or the £2 a word I understand is on offer for some commentators.
No, I am content merely to be right. That is a reward more meaningful than any other.
Now, retweet this post, so everyone can see how right I am.