The decline of western civilisation

Three people or things that I know which could not, or cannot, lie.

1. Cassandra
2. George Washington
3. Shakira’s Hips

If I were a popular writer slash historian slash peddler of broad brush explanations of complex problems, I’d have a high concept non-fic book proposal based on this idea done by now.

The moral arc of the universe is long, but it bends towards getting Niall Fergusson on telly.

15 Responses to “The decline of western civilisation”

  1. Dan Filson

    No need to post just for the sake of filling the ether – there is enough prattle out there already

    Reply
    • hopisen

      Dan, Thanks for the advice, I know it’s kindly meant and a compliment. However, I like to post whatever I feel like. Some things just amuse me, prattle or no.

      Reply
      • Brian Hughes

        Please prattle on, the Universe needs more prattle.

        I once wrote a very interesting paper on why people prefer doom-laden prophecies to cheery ones (and why they enjoy gloomy news reports) but no one wanted to read it.

        It wittered on about mild pessimism having been a good survival strategy and the human desire to be living through epoch making times on account of humans being unwilling to admit how insignificant they are (both individually and as a species).

        Can you believe that no one wanted to read that?!

        Reply
  2. NightJack

    Thanks for the best chuckle of my morning so far. “Shakira’s hips” very good.

    Reply
  3. Sarah Bains

    I agree!

    Shakira’s hips always put a smile on my face!

    Reply
  4. Dan Filson

    OK, I’m just a grouch. Maybe I preferred you as a “peddler of broad brush explanations of complex problems”, though often quite astute rather than simply broad brush.

    Reply
  5. Newmania

    Shakiras hips are the least of her many excellent qualities .

    Reply
  6. Rufing

    I gotta side with Vida on this one, because after all, I’m the one who pusehd for her to be added to this glorious tournament after she was initially omitted. But I will say this, I disagree with the Jeleyman’s reasons for possibly choosing Shakira over Vida. I think it comes down to a matter of preference in a very important sexual conundrum: top or bottom? You see, Vida’s ass is tailor-made for doggystyle humping. When you’re banging her you’re more apt to want to be behind her, thrusting away all your problems as you look down into the majestic ass that you’ve somehow managed to get into. Add to that the fact that she doesn’t have the prettiest face of our contestants and you’ve got no choice but to want to turn her around and do all the work yourself. Shakira, on the other hand, you’d want to lay back and let her go crazy on you, using all the same moves and muscles she displays in her music videos on your entire pelvis region. Cowgirl, reverse cowgirl, the sideways crab mating dance of Southern Sri Lanka the list goes on and on, but the point is you’ll be sitting back as she does what she does best. And despite the fact that all men are inherently lazy, I’m sure a very large percentage of them would be willing to stand up for the chance to pound on Vida’s ample cushion. But again, I could see more than a handful of really lazy men just wanting to sit back and watch/feel Shakira go Shakira on them they don’t necessarily have to be gay, or born blind, or have a long-standing rivalry with Vida’s brother. Anyway, the video our gracious host linked to above was nice, but here’s another one of that will further strengthen my argument. By the way, Vida is literally Life in Spanish, which could very well mean the beauty of her ass can bring life to even the deadest, limpest things you know, like old penises. Hmmm I just realized that was my first time ever spelling the plural form of penis, which made me think: shouldn’t it be peni? We don’t say cactuses we say cacti right? I’m just sayin’

    Reply

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