Hundreds and thousands?

How many SNP members make five hundred? The SNP, eager to prove that their Glasgow East campaign is rousing the populace into a fervour, claim that the serried ranks of Nationalists assembled at the below backslapping gala, campaign rally attended only by activists opportunity to hear soaring oratory, totals five hundred souls.
Yet, well, it doesn’t look like anywhere near that. Some eagle eyed Labourite has counted heids heads, and tells me that far less than half that number of SNP supporters can be seen… So, a special prize to the closest guess in the comments, and an even better prize for someone with the best explanation of where the missing SNP activists might be hiding out…
a cast of.... a hundred or so.

a cast of.... a hundred or so?

While the SNP “rally” didn’t attract 500 people, the accompanying press release tries to make up the defiency by cramming in a record number of cliches. I’m a bit of a connoisseur of by-election press releases, as they’re usually written by tea fueled hacks in a state of nervous exhaustion with other press officers staring over their shoulder making stupid helpful suggestions. The SNP press release that accompanies the above photo is a veritable cornucopia of electoral cliche. Here’s a sample – though there’s a few more I’ve left unmolested..

  • This community in Glasgow East has some fantastic people”, (and some not so fantastic ones, presumably).
  • “We’re seeing real results” Not those nasty fake results the other lot give you.
  • We’re “delivering” Politicians in government “deliver” more often than maternity nurses.
  • send a message” ahhh. the old favourite.
  • “Speak up for Glasgow East” Press officers like using this because it sounds good and is dead easy to do.
  • SNP victory”was and is a breath of fresh air” You can almost here the press officers arguing over this one. “We can’t say it was a breath of fresh air – sounds like it’s stale.” “but it happened a year ago- it’s hardly a breath of fresh air now.” “oh screw it, we’ll say it’s both”
  • “The politics of fear… the politics of hope” AKA When you say “crime is up” that’s fear. When we say “people shouldn’t get mugged so often”, that’s hope…”
  • enough is enough” That’s hope, see?
  • and of course, the daddy of them all “On your side”. We all love that one. In fact, I think there’s a lottery system in every by-election, where each party competes to use “on your side” as a by-election slogan.

Cliche, friend of the talentless hack (and SNP press officer).

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